Derrick’s tour managed a host of bands round the world, as well as stage managed festivals and venues. If you get him on a good day he might tell you about Madonna riding a white horse round Wembley. You don’t want to get him on a bad day. He’s currently backstage manager for Concorde 2 in Brighton, and writing a book.
1) Make sure when you get booked for a Newcastle gig you go to the right Newcastle as “upon Tyne” and “under Lyme” are a bit of a slap away.
2) When in Rome do as the Romans do so forget going to McDonalds. Try if you are abroad, the local food at a local restaurant, it’s cheaper and you just might like it.
3) When in a new city don’t get too pissed up so that the following day you will have missed that chance to see the sights. It ain’t often someone else is paying for it.
4) No matter what the record company says, tour buses are 90% of the time cheaper. They just want you to suffer for your art.
5) Never ever never go in all guns blazing, giving it the big and upsetting the local crew/promoter even if you have a hangover. They will make your life hell for the rest of the day and after all, manners cost nothing. Further you may think you are only going to see that venue once (well you might if you piss too many people off), however you will more than likely be playing it at least twice: once on the way up and once on the way down.
6) Avoid motorway service stations in the UK if possible. Pull off and go to a pub, you can get a pint too. Does not apply in other countries as there you can get food, booze, porn and weapons.
7) If on a tour bus and it’s stationary in the middle of the night (therefore in the middle of nowhere), and you fancy a bit of fresh air or whatever: a) tell someone what you are up to, b) put some clothes on c) don’t forget your cellphone. Otherwise you will more than likely be stranded in your by now grubby underwear and if you think anyone is going to pick you up other than the local police who will more than likely section you, think again.
8) Before the after party make sure 1) you’ve been paid 2) the fee is somewhere safe that you can remember in the morning.
9) Key chains and wallet chains!! Someone is always going to try to rob you.
10) Remember who really pays the wages and the costs, that is not the record company or the promoter, it is the paying punters so treat them with the respect they deserve. Again manners cost nothing